You never loved me.
You only loved what I could give you.
So I gave. I gave you my money, my time, my career, my friends, my name…
the last drip drop of my sanity.
I gave till I had one thing left and I gladly gave you that.
I never loved you.
I loved the idea that was you, the idea that would one day see me for me and love me unconditionally.
I loved the idea that I projected onto you, the idea that bore me my 2nd son and daughters, and built me a home for a life, this life.
The idea that made love to me every night, not once a year in an in out, wham bam, thank you ma’am kind-a state.
We were wed in purgatory; a pair denied entry to both heaven and hell.
Give me something… hate, a paper, anything.
Instead, nothing but stone mother cold silence, breading the shadows and boarders of my now dark night, breaching past the lonely isolation.
Walking shells we’ve become, with fancy clothes and smiles for exteriors. No care left. No gratitude.
But who am I to complain I bred this monster that is us. Knowingly fed and mothered that demented fuck.